Success
Career Insight I:
How to Identify A Bully At Work
http://insights.cermacademy.com/2016/10/155-identify-bully-dr-trudy/
How to Identify A Bully At Work-- written by Dr. Trudy Hu, August 2016
Revolutionary Discovery of Invisible Abusive Power Behind Mental Illness:
After 30 years clinical practice, clinicians nowadays still uphold the belief that mental illnesses are caused by an individual's brain chemical imbalance, individual's irrational cognitive thoughts, volatile mood swings, and destructive behaviors, or an individual's twisted perspectives. As a result, clinicians' clinical assessment, exploration of the presenting issue, and intervention are also mainly focused on the afflicted individual who chooses to seek help.
This article creates a prototype and provides a new theoretical framework to revolutionize the traditionally clinical assessment, focus, and intervention approaches which pigeonhole the mental illnesses and patients who fall prey to the abusers and become the scapegoats of the skillful perpetrators. It is fair to say that an individual who suffers from depression and anxiety in marriage and family might be a victim of his/her skillfully abusive spouse/partner, family member, or relatives. An individual who suffers from tremendous of stress and anxiety at the workplace might have been exploited by a skillfully abusive supervisor or co-worker at the workplace. A large cohort of individuals who suffer from depression due to declined wage, lack of career opportunity, governmental debt, and anxiety over social unrest in a society indicate the failure of political, economic, and social policies and the collective group of people have become unaware victims through long-term cover-up (i.e., brainwashing, programming, political correctness) manipulated by skillful and abusive politicians, power brokers, and media moguls.
Prototype and Definition of an Abuser--Skillful Bully
Bullies come in different forms, shapes and ages. Nevertheless, people tend to have the typical images of bullies, usually little boys in elementary schools and playgrounds. Those typical bully images were highly promoted in the editing room of anchors and journalists through the lens of most of the popular media.
This article is to describe another unaware but extremely dangerous but silent bully prototype. This type of skillful bullies do not throw punches in schools or playgrounds but holding leadership positions in political power center, holding the key to the financial power, having executive power of the business world, controlling the channels of powerful news/images in media, and high-ranked clergies in spiritual world, etc. As people's eyes and mouthpiece, media do not focus on the center of the political/financial/spiritual power and scrutinize those well-established powerful "leaders" (bullies), instead of focusing on some young boys/girls in schools and playgrounds so that all the viewers can be manipulated by anchors' perspectives and see the world through their powerfully manipulated lenses that they want audience to see and to believe.
Façade of Success
What are the criteria of a candidate on the becoming path of a skillful bully in a successful mask? An intelligent individual has high caliber in cognitive capacity, such as analysis, reasoning, and calculation. As a charismatic and confident individual, he/she is also articulate, ambitious and on the fast track in climbing corporate/organization ladder. Under a rigid hierarchical organization, these behavioral traits can be outwardly reinforced and manufactured to perfection and difficult to detect the concealed shrewd and self-serving nature. After the long term well-established images, credentials, and networks, skillful bullies in a successful mask, they are considered as role models and celebrities in political system, companies, and churches.
It is just like a genuine diamond and a fraud diamond and no one can tell which one is real and which one is faked. Sometimes, fraud diamonds outshine the genuine ones. Only a well-trained professional can see through the faked shine of those faked diamonds. Along the same line, only a highly skillful professional with conscience can see through the true nature and the integrity of a genuine executive as well as a skillful bully without engaging power play or political gain.
Concealed Real Intention
The difference between a genuine successful executive and a skillful bully lies in his/her internal motives. A skillful bully is sensitive to assess other people’s power and how to exercise his/her personal charm to ally in the competitive business world. He/She knows how to pro-actively affiliate with those powerful people for his/her own self-interest and power-grabbing. He/She shows loyalty, respect, and obedience to win the trust from the higher-ups.
In private life, a skillful bully continues the high-power superior persona and is addicted to his/her inflated self-importance over personal relationships, such as in-laws/family. He/She treats in-laws and family members as subordinates and is good at translating their transient value into tangible benefits or service for his/her own advantage.
Magical Tool-Manipulation
1. Establish Superior Atmosphere
A skillful bully is quick in identifying invisible leverage (age, rank, power affiliation, earning power, gender, ethnicity, etc.) and exudes superficial warmth and friendliness which creates a polarized superior-or-inferior or convincing-or-mistrust prelude as a foundation for his/her favorable influence. A skillful bully is good at exaggerating, bragging and portrait himself/herself as a virtuous and righteous person to increase the weight of superiority.
2. Create a Superior-Inferior Power Structure—From Influence, Control, to Manipulation
Invisible leverage turns into persuading influence and then distorts misstatement into truth and leading control, domination and then manipulation to superior performance and justification in grabbing (or stealing) more power, privilege, and assets from submitting ‘inferior’ or ‘disadvantaged’ counterparts.
Steps in Gaining Power
#1 Gaining Power Strategy—Proclaiming Visible and Invisible Favorable Superior Traits
#2 Gaining Power Strategy—Spotting Gentle, Good-Nature, and Non-Assertive Individuals, Such As Supporting Staff, Supervisees, Younger, Older, or Inexperienced People in an Organization
#3 Gaining Power Strategy—Intimidating, Belittling, or Overly Critical in Private Settings to Degrade Opponents/Counterparts into Inferior Status
#4 Gaining Power Strategy—Gaining Psychological Territory, Conquering Easy Preys, Putting Down Victims, Claiming Victims’ Credits and Assets Legitimately
Ultimate Goal of Control and Manipulation-Exploitation
Skillful bullies are natural predators and have innate ability to identify easy preys. The ultimate goal is to exploit others for self-serving interest.
Discrepancy-Lack of Integrity
Lack of integrity can be interpreted as hypocrisy or two-faced characteristics.
The deceitful side has to be hid in secrecy, isolation, and darkness, (i.e. alter boy's sexual abuse as a secret).
The best way to detect a skillful bully is his/her lack of integrity and incongruency between publicly benign image and privately abusive behavior and the duration of revealing the skillful bullies may take at least 2-3 decades. A skillful bully is generous in spending company, public or others’ funds but stingy in spending his/her own funds.
On the same note, he/she is generous in praising powerful allies publicly but verbally and emotional abusive to subordinates privately. A genuine successful executive tends to be congruent in public and private interactions. The emotional reactions with a genuine successful executive after a certain period of time tend to be positive, consistent, supportive, and empowering.
However, a skillful bully tends to elicit negative emotions such as confusion, a sense of inferiority, insecurity, powerlessness, loss of personal boundary or identity. A skillful bully in a successful mask is an intelligent criminal who steals others’ power, voice, credits and asset and financially, mentally, or sexually abusive toward voters, entities or victims without a trace. The current legal system can only capture ordinary criminals who commit petite crime with tangible evidences. How can you prove invisible motive, manipulation strategies, stolen power, self-worth, votes through legitimate ways and capture the mastermind of the well-designed legitimate scheme?
Damage Control? Mitigate Damage?
In a small and personal scale, a skillful bully’s spouse and family members usually suffer the loss of self-esteem, self-worth and self-reliance initially which leads to depression, isolation, cognition decline after a few years and spirals downward into severe mental illness, physical disability, and willingly submits his/her own finance/identity/power in the "trusted" bully spouse. A female bullying partner can create more damaging harm to her male victim.
Male victims' recovery and attempt in seeking help would be more difficult because traditionally females do not fit into the socially accepted stereotype of abusers. How do people calculate the monetary damage of the loss of self-esteem, self-worth, quality of life, happiness, and dignity?
In the scale of a business entity, a skillful bully is considered as a competent executive and leader in a company. The subordinates tend to be attracted and admired by outwardly charming traits initially. Several months and years later, the casualty of power struggle, layoff, re-organization and skillful firing would start the financial bleeding. Once the scheme of the skillful bully is unveiled, the financial loss is easily hundreds of millions and billions.
How do people calculate the monetary damage of the loss of victims' self-respect, career hope and dream, personal and occupational potential, financial crisis of victims' families, loss of mortgages and properties?
When an intelligent bully steals and robs someone's power and future, how to quantify the scope of damage and assess the compensation legally and financially?
Feedback:
I had once worked with Dr. Trudy Hu 8 or 9 years ago and she helped my family and my two daughters a lot. Recently, when I contacted Trudy several weeks ago, I have been struggling psychologically and financially because of my previous job loss about 18 months ago. After I quit my job involuntarily, I lost all my confidence and I accepted a lower job title and much lower salary. My family and I all suffered financial stress and lower quality of life after I left my job due to a bully at workplace.
Several co-workers had experienced similar hidden bullying from this particular "popular" lady. I was the whistle-blower and reported her abusive behavior but the Human Resource Department (HR) believed in her because of her long-term positive alliance with HR.
I experienced severe depression and financial loss for a long time. During my second appointment with Trudy, Trudy referred me to read this article and suddenly I realized that I have been an unaware victim of a skillful bully at my previous workplace, a naturopathic medicine clinic, and have severe doubt about my hard-earned credentials and my career skill sets and talents. After the 2nd session with Trudy, I was able to lift myself out of the funk, recover my confidence, and went on several job interviews.
In my 3rd session, I have been offered several job offers and I become so confident in myself, my skill sets, and all the credentials that I have built in the past. I am grateful to her article and I believe that Trudy is onto something big and significant.
Dr. Trudy's new discovery in skillful bully prototype completely turns my career, my confidence and my financial strength around. I can not tell you how happy and excited that I have become. This article is very healing and eye-opening.
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中文: 心理精神疾病革命性的發現:
隱藏在心理精神疾病背後,一隻看不見操縱的手
作者:胡慧菁博士, 中文翻譯:王曉蘋
經過30多年的臨床治療經驗顯示, 現今心理精神科醫生仍堅持相信, 心理精神疾病是由於個人的大腦化學成份失調所造成的, 個人非理性的想法, 個人情緒的波動不穩定, 和自己所選擇的破壞性行為, 或是個人扭曲的觀點所引發的。因此, 臨床界的醫生, 在做臨床初步診斷, 心理精神病因的探索, 治療的方法和過程, 治療的焦點和重心, 也主要只放在呈現心理精神問題, 尋求幫助的那個人身上。
本文將建立一個心理精神科新的理論架構原型, 給予傳統臨床理論嶄新的角度和觀點, 並提供了新臨床診斷, 病因的探索, 治療的重點, 以了解尋求幫助的病人, 可能只是犧牲品和替罪羔羊, 真正的肇事者可能是躲在病人後面的人,擁有一雙看不見,但強而有力操縱的手。
在婚姻和家庭中承受幽鬱症或恐懼症的人, 可能是在他/她背後, 有個技術高超且俱有有虐待傾向的配偶/伴侶, 家庭成員或親屬。在工作場所中, 經歷了焦慮或巨大的壓力, 可能是在他/她周邊, 有個技術高超且懂得竊取專業秘密技術和成果的同事, 或很會辱罵人仗勢欺人的上司。
同理可證, 當社會裡有一大群患有幽鬱症焦慮症的人, 可能是因為缺乏就業機會, 經濟蕭條, 政府債務太高, 社會動盪不安, 也就是可以推演出政府在上位的領導者和媒體巨頭名嘴合作無間, 通過長期明為掩飾太平(即洗腦, 攧倒是非)暗地裡偷權偷錢, 政府中社會上, 充滿了技術高超, 有虐待傾向又擅長仗勢欺人的政客。
定義:仗勢欺人者的原型
英文字,bully,在中文多翻譯成欺負人,欺負弱者,霸凌者,悪霸等等詞彙。但這些詞彙(欺負弱者,霸凌者,悪霸)傳達給人一種惡形惡狀,
大欺小,體壯拳大,拳打腳踢,打人罵人,或者是犯罪分子的形像。
在美國一般社會大眾中,bully,這個字仍然停留在男孩,偶爾有些女孩子,在小學,中學的校園和操場中,欺負其他小朋友,打人罵人的形像。
為什麼一般人會對喜歡欺負他人的人,bully,有這樣的聯想和印象？
這些典型的惡霸形像是經由大眾媒體記者們看事情,人物的眼光,角度所形成。大眾媒體的剪輯員,名嘴,主持人,記者在左右一般大眾的觀念看法和印象,具有極大又無形的影響力,也扮演重要角色。
這篇文章是描繪另一種喜歡欺負他人的人,暫且稱呼為高智能仗勢欺人者,這種喜歡欺負人的類型,無聲無形,每天在我們身邊生活工作,當事人自己已經被欺負被利用了,但自己不但毫不知情,在短時間內反而非常欣賞崇拜並慶興自己碰到了好對象,好配偶,好客戶,好上司,好老闆,好領導者。
這類技術熟練,智慧型仗勢欺人者很危險,因為他/她所作所為是看不見摸不著,不像一般欺負人的人,在學校或操場出拳打人罵人,在家中,在公司行號中大吼大叫侮辱他人。
他/她欺負利用人的方法是是隱形無聲地。而且這類型的人多為公司行號或社區中,小有名氣的人,被人尊敬,有權有勢有錢的人。
更多這類型的人是占有政治權力中心的領導位置,拿著財政經濟大權的鑰匙,在企業界為高階主管或有著執行權力,媒體界中握有操縱修飾播放重要新聞/影像權的媒體寵兒,主控麥克風的名嘴,以及宗教精神界裡的高階神職人員等等。
成功的外表
這種仗勢欺人者和一般喜歡欺負人的人有什麼不同? 這種仗勢欺人者又多半俱有什麼特質?
...
作者註:
中文版的文章已經出版: "心理精神疾病革命性的發現",歡迎來電或寫信索取文章
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Career Insight II:
The #1 Career Adjustment Skill for Techies in Silicon Valley Dr. Trudy, July 9, 2018
The #1 Career Adjustment Skill that a Techie in Silicon Valley Needs to Adopt: Stress Sensoring. Let me explain.
Silicon Valley has become the capital of global innovation and the fertile ground for start-up and fast growing technology companies in the world. Competition and speed of innovation are key factors to be the champions in science and technology frontiers. Successful techies are rewarded with big salary and envious perks.
Wall Street is the capital of global financial investments. Stars of finance and commerce cluster in Wall Street, New York.
Hollywood is the birthplace for the brightest movie stars in USA and in the world. Top performers and artists cluster in Hollywood.
Competition
The key to the success of Wall Street, Hollywood, Silicon Valley, or any location is the same, success-driven, vibrant, and innovative talents who are motivated and rewarded with top monetary compensation and luxurious perks.
Competition and the speed of innovation are two key elements in championship in all career fields. Stress means an individual’s resources become insufficient to cope with demands. When the competition and the speed of change become fierce, success not only brings glory and rewards but also career upward momentum and upgrades of status, living standards, expenses, etc.
Diversity is the key to successful companies, employees’ creativity, product inventions, marketing strategies, and competition. The challenge in dealing with stress in professional career fields is multi-faceted, too. If competition is a real game or a mind game, the rules of the game have changed and diversified. Competition can become brutal, vicious and undetectable in a diverse way, too.
In order to win, intimidation, criticism (=put down, name calling, back-stabbing, unfair evaluation, unreasonable demands, unfair power structure), hidden agendas, sabotage, skillful bullying, contemplated invisible elimination process, just to name a few, are strategies to defeat competitors. If a professional falls into the “invisible trap” and triggers his/her own internal inadequacy, insecurity, self-doubt and anxiety, opponents’ odds of winning increase.
Gender, ethnicity, racial, faith, sexual orientation, age, ideological difference factors have become acceptable examples of diversity at work. However, diverse cultural and behavioral assumptions, value systems, personality characteristics, behavioral and management patterns, can result in unspoken negative misunderstanding, prejudice and discrimination. The workplace environment has heavy workloads with deadlines without much time for relaxation or social connection. These can result in invisible unfriendly work environment with invisible negative stress sensors.
Solutions:
Healthy eating, exercising, socializing, positive thinking, and laughter are still important and basic stress management skills that every individual needs to have.
In a fast-changing stressful world, co-workers are competitors; so socializing and genuine social support can become a difficult and challenging task.
Healthy eating, exercising, relaxation and laughter require quality time allocation and time management.
Or an individual may fall into an anxiety-inducing trap with an internal label of inadequacy, insecurity, self-doubt which justifies the hidden elimination rules of sexism, racism, ageism, ideological difference, and then travel to a dead end in an unaware self-defeating way.
Therefore, before taking general stress-reducing actions, developing stress sensors to detect one’s internal and external draining stressors should be the most important self-rescuing adjustment skill for stress reduction and maintain equilibrium, resilience and happiness in a competitive work environment.
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Facts about Bullies and Bullying: Posted on 10/25/2017
Only Scandals and Bullies Need the Protection of Confidentiality and Secrecy.
Bullying is a culture and it forms its own community.
Bullies are everywhere in any place, agency, or industry. It can happen in your workplace, school, home and community.
Bullying can cause physical stress, illness, mental stress, career dead end, financial stress and suicide.
Victims experience helplessness, hopelessness, isolation, and shame.
Centers for Diseases Control and Prevention (CDC) published a research which indicated bullying causes suicides, physical and mental illnesses in 2016.
Bullies like POWER and CONTROL.
Bullying involves a real or perceived power imbalance.
Bullies need confidentiality and secrecy for protection so that bullying pattern can continue and the balance of power is OFF.
Effective Bullying Prevention Program works in many social contexts as followed.
1. Reporting the bullying and bullies--Report bullies' true behaviors into the PUBLIC AWARENESS.
2. Lines of Communication-- Keep lines of communication OPEN.
3. Connectedness--Bullying occurs while there is no oversight or supervision so that bullies become the ultimate authority in its own power community.
4. Using Social Media to promote awareness and assertiveness in a positive way.
5. Encouraging victims to get help, get connected, use social media to expose bullies, protect victims from being retaliated after telling, form a circle of friends, and mitigate the future victimization.
6. Do not glorify bullies who usually hold advanced positions and top authority in an industry.
7. Bullying prevention works. It has to have a procedure to create a safe environment for reporting bullying (= unbalanced power and unbalanced control).
Help is available. HOPE is available and possible.
We all play a role in the circle of influence.
Please click on the below underlined news from 1937 incident for reference.
When an individual or an industry becomes so POWERFUL, the ownership of law enforcement and justice advocates belongs to the powerful bully who becomes so-called "King", "Queen", or "Leader".
Bullies absolutely have no accountability, no transparency, no integrity.
Remembering Patricia Douglas, the first woman to call out Hollywood for sexual assault
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In the Universe, only 1% of the individuals or organisms will be chosen to be a great positive or evil leader.
In any agency, especially political parties, any great or evil leader will only get the most 6.5% of other like-minded capable supporters.
In any agency or entities, 85% of the people, animals, or organisms are blind and silent followers which submit themselves under the evil poisonous but dazzling spells to exchange for money, power, titles, privileges, ... Unfortunately, these 85% of the blind and silent followers are the so-called "the majority."
Nowadays, 95% of the media and the "spokesmen or spokeswomen" are obedient puppets of the Evil and Devil.
The more great deeds that a decent leader have done, more vicious attacks that those puppets and their mouthpieces would have taken.
As long as any leader does not follow the same route as the powerful bully, Harvey Weinstein (he is not the only one, nor the worst one), Hollywood Tinsel Town (= Home of glamorous Heroes and Leading Ladies in entertainment industry,7.5% of Evil and Devil in disguise) and Washington DC Tinsel Town (Political Power House= Senate, Congress, City and State Officials, another Home of glamorous Political Heroes and Leading Ladies in real-life drama, 7.5% of Evil and Devil in disguise), he/she should be proud if his/her approval rating is just about 7.5% of the total population.
In the Universe, only 1% of the entities will be chosen to be an evil magician and its charming magic spell has 92.5% secure faithful audience. Its goal is for 100% total destruction. When any Evil magician receives a high approval rating, it is a sign of the total extinction of any society and any organism.
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Topic: System Health Improvement (System can be business, corporation, organization or judiciary and law enforcement systems.) Posted in May, 2017
Bullies are usually charming, articulate and convincing in any organization.
They know how to impress others positively, defeat opponents with false but convincing claims in order to obtain privilege, power, or rewards.
Bullies know how to twist facts, reality or truth into a dramatic, sympathetic and sobbing story to solicit trust and favoritism for his/her gain in privilege, power and rewards.
Albeit outstanding deceitful and manipulative art, evidences, numbers, and documentation will scream the truth out but you need to have the wisdom and insight to tune into those silent truth and detect the concealed inconsistency.
Bullies are covert terrorists in workplace, corporate system, or any context. They are good at using language, finance, number, time, commitment,..., as emotional/financial/intrinsic threatening weapons to intimidate and distress others.
Workplace, community or family bullies are skillful power traders at others' expenses which might cause unexpected personal/emotional/financial crisis and trauma. It is a disguised but uprising crime and terror in USA and globally.
Blind compassion is the beginning of the leading trail to crime and terror.
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